Mom had her bath today and her hair washed.  She is all spiffed up.  She looks so nice.  Tillie is here and Maia was here earlier.  They are working on the family room because they can't move anything out of the living room without redoing the family room.  It looks like a tornado hit it but when it is over it will look nice.  

Hayley is stopping by tomorrow morning to pick up her order.  Only one of the boxes is in so I don't know when the others will be arriving.

Tillie and Maia have found some strange stuff downstairs.  Old school papers of mine from high school, mom's old papers from college and a couple of things from Andrew.  How funny.  So far they haven't found anything of Richard's.  Who knows what they will find tomorrow.  It is a scary thing going through the house, you never know what you will find!

Mom did well during her bath and her hair wash.  She works well with Teri, her personal care worker.  Next week, Mom is going home with Tillie for a couple of days, I will miss her and am not sure I want her to go.  I like having Mom with me a lot, not all the time, but a lot.  I don't like being all alone at night in the house and 2 nights of it just doesn't sound like too much fun.  I don't mind being alone during the day, but not at night.  I will leave the kitchen and dining room lights on again like I did last time.

I have a personal dilemma that unfortunately, I can't really discuss, although I would love to.  How do you know if you are doing the right thing?  My stomach has been in knots for weeks now over this and I don't know what to do.  I don't know if I am doing the right thing.  I have a few more weeks before I make the final decision, but it is killing me.  I have panic attacks again over this.  I feel like I am not doing right, but I don't really know how to go and fix it.  It is that crazy over here right now.

So far, it has been an alright day despite the tummy knots that I have.  I hope your day is going well and everything!

Tillie and Maia are on their way or at least, should be.  They will be here in about an hour.  That's how long it takes to get her from their house.  

I just paid the car payment.  Woo, it's paid for the month of February, yes, I know, it's March.  We are a bit behind on it.  I hope to catch up before too long.  It's hard to do when you have things that are tight, as some of you know very well.  I have to mail in my health insurance payment tonight along with some other store stuff.  I can't believe I am still dealing with store stuff almost 2 years later.  Hard to believe, but I am.  Speaking of which, I need to pay the sales and use tax payment of the month.  I am on hold.  I don't mind too much because I can write while I wait!  

It is so nice out right now.  The sun is shining and the weather has improved greatly!  Even Mom was a bit warmer in the car, we had the windows part way down.

Not much going on today, we did our usual, Tim Horton's this early afternoon, and then I have 2 students this evening.  I should have both of them today, haven't heard any different.  Next week they are all on vacation so I am not sure who I will have.  I know of 2 who will be gone and hopefully having fun.  It used to be that I cancelled most lessons because most of the kids were gone during Easter vacation.  Now, many kids are home, so I don't cancel, plus, I only have a few to begin with.  Since I am not as busy as I used to be, I need to teach when I can and I love it.

Just paid the payment.  Wow, my bank account is going to hate me!  2 bills in one day!  I am doing much better in keeping up with bills now that the house payment has been lowered.  Thank God for that!  Between us, we are doing alright, tight, but alright.

Mom is having her second birthday party on Saturday.  I can't wait!  It is the friend's party.  We will have about 30 people in our house, and we don't have enough chairs!  Oh well, kids can sit on the floor and others can stand.  I have to remember to buy ice cream and plates and spoons.  We have forks, but we don't need them with ice cream.  I am to pick up the cake at 11 am on Saturday morning.  We will have to do it on time because Aggie will be having her lesson at 12 noon and I don't want to be late.  You know how I feel about being late.

Well, this has been a random post, going here, going there!  I hope your day is going well, mine is so far and we are expecting company!!  yeah!  Cousins!  Also!  My older brother will be coming for a visit soon, he said in a month or two, not sure when, but soon.  I can't wait, I miss the older brother!  I just adore both my brothers!  Simply adore them!

Here is the weekly link to the online magazine at NFA.  hope you enjoy the magazine.  It's the only one just for us out there that I know of.  If you find another, please let me know!!!

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/ 

Back to work day.  I don't mind, I love teaching.  I had one lesson and I will have three more this afternoon.  Mom is a bit more tired today than usual, probably the excitement of yesterday catching up on her.  I am too, a bit more tired because of yesterday.  Well worth the extra tiredness though.  We had a good time.

Tillie isn't coming today, something is wrong with her car so she is coming tomorrow.  Whatever day works for her works for me.  Our schedule isn't that busy.  Wednesday we will be over her house anyway. 

Not much going on right now, Mom is dozing as usual and I am waiting for a student.  He should be here any minute now. 

It is sunny out and I am looking forward to the warmer temperatures later in the week!  Can't wait for warm weather so we don't need so many layers on Mom.  Spring has sprung!  I love spring and fall best.

I hope you are having a good day.

Today was Mom's official birthday!  She is now 76 years old.  We had a party at Tillie's house.  Most of the cousins came and my uncle and his family.  We sure filled her small house to the rims with family.  It was great.  I think Mom enjoyed it although it may have been a bit tiring for her.  She should sleep well tonight!  The cake I brought looked like it might have been too big, but I think the smaller size would have been too small, so what to do?  Andrew took some home, Zachary took some home, and Danielle took the rest for her family.  There wasn't much after the boys got some.  It was a good cake.  We will have the same style of one on Saturday for the cake and ice cream party with the friends here at our house.  It should be a fun.  I am glad my cousins and uncle got to see Mom.  Andrew wanted to surprise us but Tillie let us know he was coming that's why he didn't tell me or email me.  Oh well, I enjoyed spending the afternoon with him too.  He sat next to Mom pretty much the entire time, he misses her a lot.  We are probably going to go visit him next month for his birthday, depending on his work schedule.  He is also going to school so his schedule is very full and busy, unlike ours that is sporadically busy and then not busy and then busy again.

Tillie and Maia are coming over again tomorrow for more housecleaning of the Paxton residence.  I am so thankful for them to help me because I can't do a lot of on my own, as most of you know and understand.  With Fibro, there are limits to how long you can stand, walk, and lift, etc.  So to have some help is a major Godsend!  We are getting somewhere with the house now, I feel much better about it and don't feel so down on it.  The back room and kitchen look great and the fridge is clean with good food in it.  We don't have much in it because most of our food is frozen.  You know the three meals I cook: frozen, takeout, and microwave!  I do use the crock pot a lot though, I love using that.  It makes the house smells so wonderful.

It will be the usual type teaching week for me this week, next week will have less students because of the holiday, Easter.  Both Grace and Frank will be absent.  I hope they have fun since I won't get to see them.  At least this week is a nice and full week and we will have company the entire week.

It rained all day so my head is a bit sorer than usual.  My arm is sorer too because of a wardrobe event.  It is so annoying to have an arm that doesn't work right, getting dressed at times is just difficult with one arm even with Mom helping me.  I tried to do most of it on my own, you know, practicing for when I don't have Mom here to help.  Yeah, that didn't work very well at all.  I don't know what I will do when she isn't here, fortunately I don't have to worry about that for a while yet.  Maybe my arm will improve before then.  I can only hope.

I hope your day was as great as mine!

Tomorrow is the Mom's birthday, although we are celebrating it today too.  I bought her flowers and will be taking her to dinner soon.  She doesn't really remember that it is her birthday tomorrow.  I am picking up the cake at 11 and then leaving from there to Windsor.  We will be back in the evening after the party.  I called my uncle last night, good thing because he never got the invitation I sent him.  He and his family are coming!  I am glad.  Mom likes to see her little brother (although he towers over her, he is about a foot taller than her).  He has a little boy who is 2 1/2 and adorable.  His name is Jayson.  I have all the food we need, I think.  I also bought our Easter basket stuff yesterday too.  I got some for Tillie too.  She will be here so I got her some stuff.  Not much, just a bit.  I no longer go crazy at Easter for Mom.  She enjoys it for a few minutes and then forgets about it, finds it again, and then forgets again.  She is dozing in her chair as usual.  We are going out to eat in about a 1/2 hour.  I haven't decided exactly where we are going to go, either Red Lobster or Olive Garden, my choice since she won't really care either way.  I think we will watch Old Dogs when we get back home.  I love that movie, we bought it the day it came out and we haven't seen it yet.  We've been busy on the days we usually watch movies.

Lily had her lesson this afternoon.  She picked what she wants to sing for the spring concert.  It is in three weeks.  She's going to sing "I'm Gonna Wash that Boy Right Out of my Hair" and "Can You Feel the Love Tonight".  She is now 12, hard to believe, but it's true and sings pretty well for her age.  This week everyone is going to have to choose what they are playing/singing for the concert so I can get the program started.

Tillie and Maia are coming over again this week.  They are going to finish the dining room and do the living room.  That room just really needs the music put away, although I can't really stand long enough to do it.  The DVD's need to be put back in the shelves and the books in the shelves downstairs.  I have 2 tables up that we will need for the cake and ice cream party for Mom.  I can't forget to buy ice cream for the party next week.  Lily is coming to that so is the Muglia family and the Heyart family.  I can't wait to see Kathy again, even though I just saw her last weekend.  She's my best friend and I miss her a lot when I don't see her.  She lives about 2 1/2 hours away from me.  Next month Mom and I are going to take a day trip to see her.  

Since Tillie will be at our house for the week, I am going to take Mom for her bath and leave Tillie at the house.  She has a key, so I am not worried.  We will only be gone for a few hours. That way, Tillie can keep working (her words not mine!) and not be interrupted by us.  A good thing too, because sometimes it's easier to not see what they are donating.  As long as my Pooh Bear collection is still here, I love my collection and she has been trying to get me to donate them.  I am not.  Nope, no how, no way. I love them too much.  Besides, many of them were bought by Mom right after I got really really sick and my life changed.  Many of you know what that was like, the day you realized you aren't going to get any better.  I thought life was over and that was that but she wouldn't let me think or live like that.  I was practically bed ridden and she and my older brother got me up and walking and moving again.  It's thanks to them I can do what I can do.

Pain is normal for the day, the sun is out and it is a bit warmer than yesterday.  Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, as long as it rains after the party and when we are home!  We should have a decent day since we are celebrating Mom!  I mean, really, how many does she have left?  I don't mean physically, I mean mentally.  I told my cousins they need to see her now, not later because later she may not have a clue who they are.  There are days she asks where Heather is and she is looking right at me.  Not many, but some.  I'd say about once a month she does this, maybe twice.  It is heartbreaking.

I hope your day is great and it is sunny and warm wherever you are!!!!!!

We finally had sewing again today.  We won't be having it next week because of Good Friday.  Easter is a week away.  We are having Cornish hens.  I haven't made them in several years, so I hope they turn out.  They should though, I always do a decent job, no one has complained yet!

I am so tired right now, I could take a nap.  I think we are heading for bed awfully early tonight.  Mom is falling asleep in her chair too.  She was awake for some of the afternoon.  We had to get up early this morning because of sewing.  I have been extra tired this week, I am not sure why.  Hard to say, could be any reason.

My arm is very sore today, don't really know why either.  I also now have a bad headache so I just may go and lay down when I am done here.  I am glad I didn't have this while I was sewing, that would have been terrible.  My arm was sore but not like it is now.

Tomorrow I have to go and get the veggie tray, cookies, napkins, pop, and cups for the party on Sunday.  I will pick up the cake on Sunday.  2 days til B-Day!  Wish Richard was coming.  I understand why he isn't, but I can still wish, can't I?  I wonder if he has found a job yet.  It is so hard looking for a job.  I am not in the job market right now as what would I do with Mom?  I would spend so much money on her day care that it would eat into the money I make, so until she goes into care, I am out of the job market.  Of course, we all know I hope to have enough students at the time Mom goes into care that I won't need another job.  I love teaching!  I will just need enough to make up Mom's money that will be going to her care (as it should), so we shall see.  I am trying not to worry about it right now.  I keep reminding myself that somehow it will work out.  I won't be homeless.

It is sunny out but really cold.  Next week is supposed to be warmer!!!  yeah!  Warm weather!  I hope your day was good.

We were at my friend, Heather's, this afternoon.  Her mom is staying with her, she just got out of the hospital after a couple of major falls in the bathroom.  Her face is very bruised still and it has been 2 weeks.  I am glad she is doing better.  Her kids are thrilled that Grandma Pat is staying with them.  She is a favorite of them.  I didn't bring any knitting because I can't find mine.  I will have to get new needles and new yarn.  I will do this over the weekend.

Mom is eating the same.  I gave her a talking too this morning and pointed out the problems she is creating for herself by not drinking enough.  She has almost finished 14 oz so far and is on her way to 16 oz, the most she has had in a month.  She had 2 beef soft tacos without lettuce and an ensure for dinner, not bad for her.  I had the shrimp tacos, oh my are those good, and expensive.

Saturday I have to pick up the stuff we need for the party except the cake.  That gets picked up on Sunday at 11 am.  Then off to the party!  I can't wait!  I believe I have said that everyday this week.

We have a sub meeting tonight.  I won't be offering our house anytime again in the near future as no one showed up at our house.  Next month is the big meeting, we should be deciding where tonight.  I am inviting the neighbors who go monthly to the meeting to the cake and ice cream party for mom the day before Easter.  My friend, Heather, and her family will be there too.  Kathy's kids will love Heather's kids.

Speaking of Heather's kids, her little boy is a normal little boy, he actually misbehaves.  I saw it today, I would never have believed it if I hadn't witnessed it myself.  They are always so well behaved when we are there.  He must have been more hungry than he would admit because Heather says that's when he misbehaves the most.  She was very calm although I could tell she was a bit upset over it.  I just love her kids.  I see Calli every week for her lesson.  Acer will start in the fall.  He already plays the melody of Calli's music.  It is quite cute.  Although she lets him know he isn't playing all the notes at the same time.

Mom finished a water!!!!!!!!  She just finished a water!  I am so proud and happy about it!  Without a face at me too.

It has been a good day.  Hope yours is too!

We are back from Windsor.  Mom had her shower and her hair washed.  She is spiffed up and smells nice.  I like the shampoo that Tillie has and the soap too.  The nurse was there to look at Mom too, he doesn't need to come back he said unless a problem comes up again.  Rosemary was there too checking the special cushion for mom and the bathtub transfer chair.  I have to rent one for her because we only get this one for a month.  It runs anywhere from 30 to 50 dollars a month.  That is a lot of money for a chair, but she needs it for her bath.  She is much safer with it than without.  She is afraid to get in the bathtub so we have to have a chair.  I have places to call and checking into whether we should buy one or rent one.  I don't know.  I will see how expensive it is.  I have a list of places to call.

The cakes are ordered.  Mickey and Minnie Mouse cakes, to be exact.  I ordered the second one just decorated without the toy because we will have the toy from the first cake.  I have to get a veggie tray on Saturday as well as the cookies.

I got a big packet from Rosemary to read.  It has all sorts of info about Alzheimer's and the problems and how to deal with them.  It is old, she said, but still relevant.  I plan to look through it tonight right after I put Mom to bed.

I have to pay some bills tomorrow.  My bank account will hate me, but it is a necessary evil, bills must be paid.

Pain has been a bit high today, partly because we were in Windsor and it seems on those days I have a bit more pain.  I am a bit stressed over Mom having a bath and her hair done because I don't know how she is going to behave.  So far, she does everything Teri asks and even talks with her.  Teri is very good with her.  I should be able to start to relax about this now.  I have seen it twice and both times have gone well.  Tillie said last week went well too, so I am glad about that.

I hope your day has been alright.

It is cold today.  I want my warm weather back, like, now, please.  I know, stop pushing it, it will arrive and then we will all complain about how hot it is.  I did enjoy last summer because it was so hot.  I could scooter everyday with Mom and it was fun.

Katie had her lesson, she got 2 new songs.  She is so cute.  She is almost 17.  Hard to believe that she will be 17 soon.  They grow so fast.  She is planning to get an associates in music.  Isn't that cool.  She wants to teach like me!  How neat is that.  She will be the third student of mine who is a music teacher.

Both Bob and Charlie will be having their lessons later today. I didn't get a chance to order Mom's cake so we are doing that tomorrow morning before we go to Windsor.  I am really liking the schedule, just need a few more students and things would be even better!!!  We will now be going to Windsor every Wednesday to visit!  Mom does well on day trips.  We will be taking a day trip to see Andrew next month or in May, possibly around his birthday.  He will be 41.  He he he.  He doesn't like to think about being 40, I know the feeling.  In 2 weeks I will be 42.  I have to get Mom's state ID for her since it expired and renew my license plate tabs.  We will be doing that Thursday morning.  Mom's money comes in on Wednesday and then a week and a half later, mine comes in.  Mine arrives on Easter Sunday.  My birthday will be that Thursday after Easter.  

Pain isn't to bad right now.  My head is normal and the arm is a bit sore.  I moved it wrong this morning like a silly person and it still hurts from that.  Dumb arm.  Mom is okay today.  She got up before me and was sitting in her room quietly.  She is speaking quietly today which drives me mad since I am partially deaf and cannot hear her.  She did this to me in Tim Horton's.  I was getting a little mad, finally she spoke up.  I hate it when she does this.  She has this paranoia of someone overhearing what she is talking about.  It isn't like we are telling secrets or anything!  I get so tired of it.  I usually ignore people when they do that.  I can't hear them and if they want a response from me, speak up.  I don't mean yell, that isn't necessary, but at least don't whisper.

So far the day is alright, nothing spectacular except during the lesson.  I have to write in Mom's journal now.  I keep track of everything she drinks and eats, not that it is much.  I also write how she slept (what little I know about it) and if she is having a good or bad day.

I hope your day is going well.

Here is the weekly reminder to check out the online magazine:

 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/ 

It's raining out now and cold.  Not happy about this new development in the weather.  I liked the near 60 degree weather we had all last week.  I moved the two garbage buckets to the front of the house.  Oh my gosh, they weigh a ton.  I will move them to the road after my lessons.  I have to clean up where the animals had fun with the food garbage.  I asked that food garbage be put in the container that closes.  Guess it didn't fit.  Now I have a big mess to clean.  Not happy about that.  happy that the rooms are done, not happy to pick up garbage.

Mom is in her chair dozing again.  I woke at 6 to use the bathroom and she was up.  I don't know how long she was up.  The gate wasn't up either so I quickly fixed that.  I put her back to bed and we both slept until noon.  I think she had been awake for hours because she slept so long in the morning and every time she sits down she falls asleep.

Grace had her lesson already, she is doing really well.  She has got some more complicated music and she is getting it.  She won't have a lesson the day after Easter.  Holy week for her will be very busy so she won't have time to practice, and plus she will be on vacation.  Perhaps they will go away for it.  That would be nice.  

I don't know what we are doing for Easter.  I will make us something nice.  It will probably be just the 2 of us.  I don't mind.  Easter is a quiet holiday for our family.  Andrew and Richard usually had to work since they were in the restaurant business when we were young.  We will probably watch a movie, maybe go to one if there is a good one playing.  We'll see.

Calli, Frank, and Debbie are all having lessons tonight.  Then I will cook dinner for Mom and me.  I have to give her an ensure before the lessons begin so she can have her snack.

Other than lessons, there really isn't anything going on.  I have to order her birthday cakes, but that is about it.  I have planned the snacks we will have at the party, and need to order the veggie tray.  I am not getting a fruit tray too, just some chips and dip and cookies.  It will be mostly low key.  It is an open house type of party as Tillie's house is very small.  I don't know how it will fit so many people at one time.  I can't wait for the party though, I am looking forward to actually talking to my cousins.  I haven't even met one of them yet and she is 18 months old now.  Sad.  :( :( :(  I will see her at the party though.

I ache because of the rain.  I hope you are doing better and maybe no rain in your forecast.

It is so quiet now.  Mom is sleeping in her chair at the table.  I meant to bring her special cushion from Tillie's, but I forgot.  We will get it on Wednesday.  It is made of air and is softer on her bottom which has gotten quite thin.  Since she has lost so much weight, we have to be careful of her and her bones.  She is quite fragile in some ways.

We went to Tim Horton's and ran into our neighbor friend, Rosemary.  She is really nice.  She and her husband, Irv, will be at the cake and ice cream party the day before Easter.  I have to order Mom's birthday cake for her party this weekend this week.  I think I will get a tray of veggies, some chips and dip, and cookies and that will do it for the snacks.  We are having the party after lunch and before dinner.  My cousin, Audrey, will be bringing cookies so how cool is that?  Pretty cool I'd say.  I am getting mom flowers for her birthday, she loves flowers.  Just a nice spring bouquet.  I found the vase, it was in the cupboard in the kitchen, not with the sell stuff.  I am going to vacuum out the cupboards in the back when I am done here.  

My nephew, William, turned 9 on Friday.  I haven't been able to talk to him yet.  With the time difference, it is hard to get a hold of them.  They are very busy little children.  I miss him a lot, and his sister, Abigail.  They swim all year.  In summer of 2008, we got to see one of their swim meets and it was great.  Both did really well.  I haven't seen them since then because of finances and other difficulties, but I hope to see them this summer.

I think after I do the vacuuming, I am going to put in a DVD for us.  I got New Moon yesterday.  I really enjoyed the books, it was the first set of books I read that I really enjoyed after I lost the store.  I liked the movie a bit better than the first one, I think mainly because the scenes weren't so choppy.  The director of the first movie likes choppy scenes and New Moon has longer scenes and less choppiness in it.  I can't wait for Eclipse.  That comes out this spring in June.  Of course, Mom and I will be there with Kathy, we will travel to Kalamazoo if necessary.  I have seen both twilight movies with her and must see the rest with her too.  I decided that, don't know if she knows this, but I decided.  I mean, we both love twilight books and movies, so why break a good pattern?  We have been friends since we were 3.  Isn't that cool?  I have known her longer than anyone else except my mom and brothers.  She will be back in town in 2 weeks, unless something comes up and with a family of 6, one never knows.  We just go with the flow over in the Paxton house.

It is a bit cooler out today than last week, but still nice and sunny!  Mom seems to enjoy the sun too.  Soon we will be able to take out the scooter and go for walks again!  I can't wait for that.  I love scootering.  Mom enjoyed the walks last summer a lot because some days she would ask for one.  She did ask the other day when we would go walking again.  It is still a bit too chilly to take her right now, but give us a month, and we will be on the town.  

I hope you are having a good day, so far so good at our house!  Time to go and vacuum!

Had a great afternoon with Kathy.  No one was sick, so she came to town.  Tillie stayed with Mom and I went out.  It was nice being alone without Mom although Kathy doesn't mind when Mom comes, so that is good because next time, Mom will most likely be with me.  The dining room is about 1/2 finished.  I have to clear the table off and sort the bills.  There are some boxes I must sort too.  Not looking forward to all this sorting but I will get to it.  It seems so quiet here without Maia and Tillie now.  It's just me and Mom!  Mom drank a bit more today and even ate 1/2 of a fruit cup!  I was excited about that.  She had a frozen dinner, ate 1/2 the meat and 3/4 of the potatoes, a lot for her.  Kathy and I went to the Outback restaurant and had steak and shrimp.  I enjoyed it too, didn't need it, but I liked it.  Then we went to Walmart to pick up some stuff for me and look at cute tops for her little ones.  The twins got a new t-shirt each with the princess from the princess and the frog movie on it.  They were adorable.  Mom is tired tonight.  I think she is just tired more from the whirlwind of activity this week.  They got a lot done that is for sure.  The stuff that is left either is recycle, garbage, needs to be sorted, or mine.  The back cupboards do need to be vacuumed still, I will do that this week if I can.  Then Tillie said she would scrub them for me.  

She is anxious to get to the downstairs, I dread it.  There is so much stuff in the family room, I don't know where to begin.  I have about 20 painted violins and violas down there.  I am going to take them to a place that will sell them in town.  I can't wait for it to be finished, but I dread the process of it.  The office needs to be organized, I have music in piles on the table and books on the floor, but not much will go from there because there isn't much in there that isn't used.  My room has been done, it just needs to be cleaned and if I do all the laundry that needs to be done and put it away, it would be cleaned.  Mom's room is a disaster area.  You can truly see some of the symptoms or problems (whatever you want to call it) of Alzheimer's in her room.  She has piles of clothes on boxes, paper in boxes, and boxes of junk everywhere.  It is actually kind of dangerous for her because if she falls, she has a good chance of landing on something.  Fortunately, the 2 times she has fallen, she landed just so on the carpet where there wasn't anything there.  It looks like something out of a movie at times.

Kathy is going to buy my other DS Lite, I bought it for Mom but she can't use it anymore.  It has only been used a few times.  It is almost one year old.  I am also going to give her some of the board games we have.  I am going to keep one Monopoly in case I have friends come over and play, but I don't need 7 or 8 different versions of the game.  They just don't get played.  Mom can't play games anymore but Kathy's children do, so they are going to a good home and will be well used.  Just like Mom would like if she was more aware.

Overall, the week went well.  We did have to go to Windsor unexpectedly on Friday, and Mom and Tillie were there Wednesday and Thursday morning.  A lot of stuff got done.  Oh yeah, I want the clear vase.  I have to remember to put it in the cupboard.  I am planning on buying Mom a spring bouquet of flowers for her birthday next week and I will need the vase.  She will be 76 next Saturday.  I am giving an open house type of birthday party at Tillie's for her.  My cousins, Audrey, Ken, and Vickie will be there as well as all of Tillie's children and some of the grandchildren.  Audrey and Ken's kids might be there too.  We saw Hayley today but she won't be there.  We will see her again in April either before or after she goes on vacation for Easter.  I hope she has a good time.

The day before Easter I am having cake and ice cream for Mom's birthday for those who live over here and couldn't go to the party because they don't have passports to get into Canada.  Kathy and her husband and kids will be at that one.  It shall be fun.

Today has been a good day, I hope yours has too although cold weather is coming back.  yuck.  Want my spring weather.

The nurse practioner did not put Mom in the hospital like I was afraid she would.  Thank God!!!!!  She did, however, say Mom is malnutritioned and dehydrated so that she must have 3 ensures a day.  That is a lot but when you look at how much she actually eats and drinks, it is not a lot.  I have made her drink a few sips of her drink several times tonight.  She still has about 2/3 of a 16 oz cup left and that is all she has had all day.  We got something for her dry skin too.  All in all, a better appointment than I expected.  I was afraid that they would move her into a home right now and I don't think she is ready for one.  We will get this drinking and eating under control and then she will gain weight and be fine.  

Tillie is here until tomorrow.  My cousin, Hayley, will be stopping by tomorrow also and Kathy should be coming to town.  A busy day for a change.  The dining room should be a little more cleared tomorrow too.  The table needs to be emptied and sorted and then the new spring table cloth will go on it and we will be done, well, except for the boxes I have to sort.  I have one box for the bankruptcy, and 2 boxes of mail I haven't opened.  That means it is either junk or old bills that I have already paid or have a new one in.  I don't open junk mail, it is a pain.

We have a mouse again.  Maia was sleeping in the living room and she said she could hear it.  It stayed in the back room where all the food was.  We have mouse food that dehydrates it in the cupboards.  They need to be vacuumed out and then washed out and then they are clean and ready to go.  I hope the little thing leaves soon.  I am not very fond of mice.  Not one bit.  They are cute in cartoons only!  Like Mickey Mouse.  I love Mickey and Minnie and that is about it.  There is one more cupboard in the kitchen that has mouse evidence in it and the stuff that was in it is gone.  I think that cupboard was washed out too, but I will look tomorrow.

Stress is a bit high with the appointment and the possibility of Mom being taken away from me so the pain is a bit higher.  I have a headache too which isn't helping matters.  Ugh.  That is all I have to say about that.  It was sunny out today and warmer than it has been.  Getting Mom to leave her coat unzipped was a bit hard, but she got to hot with it done up.  She finally got the point.

I hope your day has been good.

Hard to believe, but I can see the floor in the dining room, the counter in the kitchen and what's in my cupboards.  Scary, but true.  It has been a 4 day tornado that is now heading to the dining room.  Oh my.  It's gonna take some getting used to.  My fridge is even gonna be clean.  It hasn't been done in such a long long long long time.  It's not that I am lazy, I can't stand up long enough to clean it.  After a few minutes, I have to sit down because my legs start to burn.  That's why the house is such a, well, bottom line, mess.  It is difficult to do on my own because of that.  But now, because Tillie and Maia have done such a great job, I can swiffer the floor now.  They are only concentrating on the main level for this week.  Tillie has offered to come once a month until the entire house is finished.  For the family room (the room we don't use) we are going to split the room in half with one side with the living room furniture set (I moved the family room furniture into the living room where the pianos are because no one can sit on the other) and the table and chairs on the other.  Sort of like it is now, only we are going to sell both the living room set and the table and chairs set.  Since we don't use that room, there is no point in having furniture in it because eventually I will have to move out when Mom goes into care, unless I am able to get a job (which is the goal) and if I stay, I want my own furniture.  I don't really like the living room furniture, it needs to be reupholstered and I just don't like it.  We weren't allowed in that room when we were small and could only sit on the furniture when we were cleaned.  Now the cushions are hard, the wood is good and in good condition, so I should be able to sell it for a decent price.  They are vintage 1950 style.  Lots of our stuff that we are going to sell are vintage 1950 because that is when Mom bought all the stuff.   We have donated a lot of stuff so far.  After we finish this floor, we (well, they) are heading upstairs for Mom's room.  My room is alright, just needs to be cleaned.  I cleaned out the closet and got rid of clothes I don't wear.  My other cousin, Hayley, came and helped me last year.  I am so lucky to have helpful cousins.  Not many people have the cousins I do.  

Mom spend the night again with Tillie since she was getting her bath and hair washed yesterday afternoon and I had to teach, so she went home with Tillie last night.  Apparently, it was a bad night.  Mom went to bed fine, but woke up after Tillie went to bed.  She wandered around until about 3:30 am.  She was mean to Tillie too, which is not like Mom.  One other time she was like that to me and I left her alone for about 30 minutes before I went back into her room and she was fine and went right into bed.  I hope this is NOT the behavior I am going to  bed tonight.  If so, I am gating her in her room and going to bed.  I feel bad for Tillie though, it is hard to deal with though.  Tillie stayed calm through out the whole ordeal.  Mom is fine today, though, although she is very tired because she had to get up at 8 am to come back home.  I am glad she is back to normal today.  I hope she will be fine tonight, we shall see.

Tillie is working on the fridge.  Maia just got here.  I have knitting today with Heather, I can't wait, it has been a few weeks since we have had knitting.  Mom's appointments have been on Thursdays for the last few weeks.  I have to change a student's lesson on Wednesday because Mom has her bath and hair wash that day.  I want to be there when she gets her bath and hair wash and then we will have dinner and then drive home that way I don't have to drive to Windsor 2 times in one week.  Much better on the little car and gas and money.

It is sunny and nice out again today.  I have the draperies open in the dining room.  I keep the closed usually unless there is no wind.  Wind flips Mom out.  She remembers the wind picking her up and moving her.  I try not to take her out on windy days for the same reason, although we do do our Tim Horton's whether it is windy or not.  She just holds my arm very tightly. 

I hope you are having a great day.

Our house looks like a tornado hit it.  At least the kitchen, dining room, and utility/back room.  Tillie and her daughter, Mia, are here reorganizing me and helping me get rid of what I don't need.  This would not have been possible a few months ago because Mom would have freaked on me.  Now she is just sitting here calm, cool, and collected.  This new medicine is beautiful.  I just love it.  She is so much better and doesn't cry all day like she did before.  

I have my dishes in the cupboards and drawers, food in the cupboards instead of on the floor in front of the cupboards in the back room.  What a concept!  Hayley was over a couple of years ago and reorganized the spare room and mine, so that is finished!  She is great at that too.  We have found some neat stuff too!  I think we have donated about 6 boxes and about 8 bags of stuff!  I couldn't even imagine I had that much stuff.  Mom just sits nicely through the whole process.  I am very glad about that!  I can't wait to see what it all looks like when it's done.  We also threw out about 5 bags of bad food from the back room because everything was piled high on top of each other and you couldn't use the cupboards either.  I was horrified by how much food we wasted.  I kept buying it because I didn't know what we had.  Now I do!  

One of the problems with Alzheimer's in the early stages is hoarding and that is what Mom did.  We are pack rats to begin with, but it got beyond that.  Our back room where the washer, dryer, and freezer are was ridicules.  We have four tall cupboards along the back wall and you couldn't open them at all.  I mean at all.  I don't think they have been open for at least 3 years, if not more.  You put the food on the floor in front of them, or on top of the pile.  It was pretty bad.  Mom's room is really bad too.  Mine is just messy.  I don't think about doing a load of laundry everyday, that would clear my room up completely.  I do have 3 boxes of books that I am going to take to the used bookstore.  I have a pile of clean clothes that need to be put away and I never make my bed unless I have company that will see my room.  Hayley helped me reorganize the room 2 years ago and I have been able to keep it up.  The spare room is full of boxes of stuff that I don't even know what is in them.  I have to go through them.  I know we have a few boxes of material that is going to the Muglia girls.  There are some nice wools and knits that they can make some nice outfits from.  I also have a lot of craft stuff too.  I do need to find out what I have and what I want to make.  Some I bought for me and Mom to do together, but she can't do them anymore.  I bought some for Christmas that I thought would be fun to do but they hurt my hands so I can't do much of them.  I also have some cross stitch stuff that I like to do.  I have books and packages of that.  I have some stuff in the storage unit and a few things in my room and dining room because I was doing them in the dining room.  I have a few decisions to make.

I have a hard with some stuff because I am losing Mom little by little.  The Mom who is here isn't the same Mom I have had all my life, she is mostly gone now, replaced by this fragile, little old lady.  I only have her stuff left.  I have to let it go though because I won't have the room for it.  I want a normal looking house, not the house we have now.  It is hard to get around in our house because of all the stuff.  I want to be able to get around better, it will be better for the pain too if I don't see the stuff everywhere.

It is sunny today!  I bought Mom some cute little hoodies for summer and t-shirts to go with them.  She will look adorable in them, I think.  We also both got our hair cut and styled.  I am getting Mom's picture taken before her birthday because we have the hoodies and we have the styled hair.  I am sending one to Richard, one to Andrew, one to Tillie, and one for me.  I have to perfect frame for it too, or at least I think I do.

I hope your day is going well.

I forgot to add the link at the end of my post!!!

Here is the link to the online NFA magazine!!!!!

  http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/ 

Tillie will be arriving anytime now to spend a few days.  She is going to help me organize Mom's room and the spare room needs a little attention too.  Should be fun.  I am hoping that we will be able to find more of Mom's clothes because she puts them in boxes and I can't find them.  Not good, but normal for the disease.  Hoarding is a common symptom of Alzheimer's, unfortunately.  I slept pretty well last night, only woke up 3 times, yeah me! for that one.  I think part of it was because Mom was home and the other part being I was exhausted.  I can get exhausted so easily it is pathetic.  Part of my syndrome.  An annoying part because you never know what will exhaust you.  Look out!  Here it comes!  No, you get no warning like that.  It would be nice, but it doesn't happen.

Other than some cleaning I managed to put the corned beef, asparagus, mushrooms, and red potatoes in the crock pot for dinner.  Emptied the dishwasher, filled it back up and turned it on.  I even cleaned the sink in the bathroom!  Yup, housework day for me.  Now if only I could get some laundry done.  I can't do it until the dishwasher is finished because there would be no hot water for anything then.  Or at least I don't think there would be.  I have never tried it and not willing to experiment due to cost more money to run things again. 

Mom is doing her usual dozing on and off in her chair.  I am going to turn on Murder She Wrote in a few minutes and clear off the dining room table.  It looks like a tornado hit it.  I have bills in piles, papers in piles and other stuff in other piles.  I will need more of the table because of company.  Also, I need to change my table cloth, it still has the Christmas one on it.  He he he.  I bought a new spring one on sale at Joann's, a very dangerous type store because there are so many things I see I want to buy!  It rates up there with the bookstores.  They, too, are very dangerous for me.  Walmart is becoming that way, although we need to go there today because I need some milk and to pick up my prescription for my tummy.  I want to see if they have some spring colored hoodies for Mom.  She is getting her hair cut and her picture taken sometime this spring.  I am going to send one to Richard, one to Andrew, and give one to Tillie.  She hasn't had her picture taken in a few years.

I also get to pay some bills today!  Boy, what fun, my bank account will hate me when I am done.  The only mail I seem to get these days is bills or Hayley's orders.  She has a few more things to come in and then I get to see her!  

I haven't heard anything from cousin's about Mom's party, I wonder who is planning to attend because I have to have enough snacks for them.  I am going to Face book message a few of them to see if they are coming.  I hope so.  All of them should have received their invitations by now.  The only RSVPs I have gotten are from Cathy and Hayley and neither of them can come.  So I am glad they responded and I know not to expect them.

It is raining out again today.  Mom and I don't really like the rain, although we LOVE the flowers the rain gives us, so I guess we will both just put up with it because of the beautiful flowers.  I want to get some silk flowers for our table this spring, it will brighten Mom up because she loves flowers.  I will let her pick out which ones she wants, that should be fun for her.

I hope you are having better weather than I am.  I hope your day is good, so far mine is very good and with the expected cousin on her way, even better!

Mom is back home where she belongs.  I survived the night without her.  I even survived the morning and early part of the afternoon.  It was strange to wake up without her here, especially when I usually have her to help me get dressed.  I managed, very clumsily, to get my clothes on myself except my socks.  I tried to figure out how to do the one leg and when I couldn't reach it because of the arm, I left yesterdays on.  I don't think they smelled though, no one said they did so that was good.  I probably looked pretty funny when I was dressing though.

Kathy couldn't come to town after all.  Her little one (well, one of the little ones) was sick so the family stayed home and didn't venture to our town.  She is going to try for next weekend.  I hope to see her soon, I am having withdrawals.  I need my Kathy.  

It took forever, it seemed, to get to Windsor today.  I have discovered that Saturday is an awful day to go through the tunnel no matter which direction you are going.  It took 2 hours to get home because 45 minutes was in the tunnel.  The tunnel is only about 1 mile long.  Yeah, what fun.  At least Mom was alright in it.  When I got to Tillie's she said Mom was fine last night and didn't ask for me once at all today.  That was good.  So now I know she can handle being away from me for the night.  Whether I can handle it or not is a different story.  We went to Tillie's daughter, Luana's house for dinner.  It was good.  So that makes 3 days in a row I didn't have to cook or heat up anything.  Yeah for me!  Homemade meals too.  Even better.

Tillie is coming over tomorrow until Wednesday, I think she is taking Mom back with her and I will pick her up Thursday.  Mom has a care appointment Wednesday and the occupational therapist will be there on Thursday.  The care appointments will be Wednesday afternoon from now on.  I have to see if my little Calli can switch days because of it.  I hope so, they are pretty flexible.  She has choir on Tuesday but I don't know if it is during or after school.  I don't know about Monday or Friday or Saturday, something has got to work for a while until the care appointment can be changed.  Mom looked so nice with her hair done after her bath.  Teri, the care worker, was very nice and Mom cooperated beautifully, not one tear shed.  I was really happy about that.  She also didn't cry after I left yesterday!  So another win for us.  She hasn't really cried since her new medicine kicked in nor has she had a rough night like she was.  She hasn't asked to go home or where her Mom is or call for me when she is looking right at me.  She seems to have settled in for the moment.  I hope it lasts a while, I can get used to this stage real easy.  I have to help her with more stuff than I used to, but that is okay because she is still here with me and not in a home.  I dread that day.  I think when she gets to the point she doesn't know me at all she will be ready for a home.  At least that is what I think now, who knows what point that really will be.

Today was an alright day, rain made me ache a bit more and I didn't sleep very well last night because of nerves and pain.  I should sleep better tonight because I am not alone in the house.  I did discover I don't like sleeping in the house alone.  Not one bit.  Makes the night awfully long and lonely.  I hope your day was well and don't forget to turn the clocks forward if your area does that!

Tonight is a strange night as I am here on my own in the dining room.  Mom is at Tillie's in Windsor and I will pick her up tomorrow.  Very very very strange.  Not sure I like it.  I miss Mom.  I know she just sits there a lot and doesn't say much, but we do speak with each other and have fun together even if her memory is going.  I have never really spent a lot of time at night in the house on my own.  Once last year when Mom was in the hospital and then Tillie came over and stayed with me and then Mom came home.  So it is the first since then.  I am to pick her up tomorrow evening after my afternoon with Kathy.  I am excited that Kathy is coming to visit her parents and I will get to see her.  It will be a first without Mom for the last few years too.  She doesn't interrupt the visit or anything, she just quietly eats and observes.  She is a good observer, that's what she is.  I have resisted the urge to call and check on her in case she is doing well and that would make her be upset.  Don't want that, that is for sure!  But overall, I will freely admit to being a Momma's girl and always have been and always will be.  At night I like to have someone else in the house with me, I feel safer but I guess that is not to be tonight.  I am heading to bed shortly as it is almost 9 pm.

Pain is a bit higher as the anxiety is a bit high over how Mom will do.  I also have a bit of anxiety over undressing and dressing myself as my shoulder is very sore today.  I will struggle, but I think I can do it.  Maybe I should have spent the night.  I don't know, it's too late now to change anything.  Mom is there and I am here and that is the way it is.  Who would have thought this would cause me anxiety?  I am relaxing, yes, that is it, I am going to get my book and go and read on my bed for a bit before I turn off the light.

I hope your evening is going well.  We shall see how my night turns out!  Perhaps some prayers are in order.  Good night!

It is sunny out again.  Yup, 4th day in a row here, and in March too!  What a nice surprise.  I also am trying to conquer Mt. Laundry with at least one load.  I have no choice as I have run out of socks and undies.  Time to do the laundry.  I will have to do another load too since my outer clothes are out too.  Ugh, hate to do the laundry.  Don't know why I hate it so much, it is easier now that I have baskets.  Much easier getting it up and down the stairs, plus Mom helps, so yeah, what's my problem?  

Mom ate beautifully at breakfast time.  She ate her donut and her muffin.  I was so pleased I could have spit.  Not that I would have as that would have been very bad manners, and well, I don't like bad manners.  But I was very happy and pleased with her.  Our neighbor/friend, Rosemary came to sit with us when she arrived so we had a nice chat and visit with her.  We see her there about once a week.   She lives down the street from me.  Very nice lady, very nice.  I think they are going to come to the cake and ice cream we will have for mom for our friends here in Michigan.  Most of them can't come to Windsor for the party.  I haven't heard from my relatives about the party yet so I don't know how many are coming.  I hope a lot.  It would be nice to see them again.  I haven't seen some of my cousins since Mom's last party 6 years ago.  Wow, 6 years ago, things were bright and sunny.  Well, things here are looking bright and sunny again too.  Still not sure what I am going to do once mom is in a home, but I have lots of time to figure it out.  She is sleeping on her chair again, as usual.  I think I will take a snooze as soon as the clothes go into the dryer which should be anytime now.  I am glad our dryer still works because 2 years ago we had to get a new washer.  From what I have heard, dryers last longer so I am holding on to this one as long as possible!!!!  That is for sure!

Not much happening today, I have one make up lesson, Zach, and then we are off to Windsor for the night.  We are going to Tillie's.  I have to remember her stuff, I forgot last time.  Oops.  Fibro fog!  I have a list of everything we need to bring.

I just paid off my bankruptcy lawyer.  Now all I need to do is copy all of the stuff they need.  I never thought I would need to file bankruptcy, never, not in a million years, but when we lost the store, we lost almost everything.  We are now in the process of rebuilding our lives.  It is hard at times and easy at times.  Kind of backwards in a way, but nevertheless, that is the way it is right now.  I have less stress (believe it or not) since we lost the store, although, it isn't like there isn't any stress, I just have less because I am not trying to save the store.  One of my former employees, near the end, said that she was mad I was trying to save the business, now she wishes we had saved it because she expected (like me) to get a job right away and it took her a year and a 1/2 before she got one.  I, at least, do have disability and a few students that pay.  Most of the students I have are from the store except the new ones.  I am thankful for what I do have and the one thing I do have is time with Mom.  Nobody else has that but me, and I feel bad for my brothers because they are missing out on what's left of Mom.  Soon she won't remember anyone and that's what they will get to see because they are so far away.  She is doing well right now though, so I am sooooo glad about that.  We are going to take a day trip and visit Andrew in London (Ontario, not England) soon, if the weather holds up.  Mom and Andrew will like that.  He is in school right now so his schedule is much tighter than ours.

I hope your day is good, mine is so far!  yeah sun!!!!!!!!!

Calli and Debbie had their lessons today!  Calli forgot her book but I had another book for her to use.  She doesn't really use the books because I play it for her and then she copies it from me.  She does really well with the two hands together, she gets nervous to play both hands together, but she does real well.  I just love her spirit and her eagerness to learn.  Acer wants to learn too, he feels he is old enough now.  He is just 5 and adorable and so fun.  He is so excited about music in general.  He is disappointed with me because I can't find the lap harp, I don't blame him.  I thought I knew where it was and it wasn't there.  I was disappointed.  He likes to play with the violin when he comes over for Calli's lesson.  He figured out within minutes of where to pluck the notes so it will sound the best.  I mean, he's 5!  He knows this stuff right away.  He and his sister are simply amazing kids.  

I am watching 7th Heaven.  I love this show.  I have seen almost every episode I think.  Mom likes it too when she is awake.  Right now she is watching the show but a few minutes ago her eyes were closed.  This is a good episode where Wilson's son, Billy, asks Mary if he can call her Mommy because he's never had a Mommy and he wants one.  Heartbreak moment!!!!!!!!

My friend, Donna is home from the hospital after back surgery.  She seems to be doing alright and improving.  I am glad.  She is in such pain all day.  The doctors say she will eventually be in less pain because of the surgery.  I hope so.  She can now walk with the help of a walker and a person which is better than she had been because she was practically bedridden since November.  I haven't seen her in person since then.  I can't wait to see her again.  I think next week during the day we are going to stop by with the Tim Horton's coffee she hasn't had since November and visit with her in person.  That would be great.  Her granddaughter, Sam, plays the trumpet and she is really good.  She is a junior this year and can't wait to be finished with high school in general.  I remember that feeling real well.  There isn't enough money in the world to have me go back and repeat high school, even with what I know today.  It would not be worth it.  I mentioned today that some schools give partial music scholarships just for playing in the band even if they aren't music majors.  She will probably major in some science, she is really interested and good in the subjects.  I think she is taking about 3 or 4 science classes right now in school.

I met a friend for lunch this afternoon and it was fun.  I haven't seen her in person for a few months.  She is working a lot of hours at her job.  She rarely sees her son these days because she is so busy.  I see her son once a week for his lesson so I probably see him more than she does some days.  Her husband is out of work right now.  I hope he finds a job soon.  

Tomorrow is not going to be a busy day, we will go to our usual Tim Horton's at around noon and then I have to do a load of laundry because I am running out of clothes and we are spending the night in Windsor since Mom has an early Friday morning appointment.  I am not looking forward to that.  I don't sleep well anywhere except home but it is best for Mom so she doesn't miss the appointment.  We actually have 2 appointments on Friday, one at 8:30 and the other at 3:30.  Right around rush hour traffic time.  Mom is the worst when we go through rush hour traffic.  She is definitely the back seat driver even though she can't drive herself.  I just grin and bear it because if I say something it will just hurt her feelings and that would be bad.  Besides, with my luck I say something and that will be the day I will miss something that she doesn't and we will crash.  Not good all around, so I just comment to myself about this.

Well, I better end this as it is very long tonight.  I hope your day was as good as mine and in less pain.  Pain is a bit high right now but I will take a pain pill and it will go back to normal!

It is again a beautiful day outside, right before we get hit with rain.  I am not sure which is worse, rain or snow.  Snow means cold and so does rain, so yeah, it could be both.  We just got back from our daily breakfast.  I take mom to Tim Horton's everyday to get her out of the house, otherwise, she wouldn't leave at all.  I have 3 lessons today, it was supposed to be 4, but Katie cancelled until next week, something about ACT tests and stuff.  Must study, which she needs to do well on and I hope she does.  These ACT tests are difficult.  I know, I took it back when I was in high school trying to get into a college.  I did okay, nothing spectacular on them, and I got in to college.  Not that the degrees I have have done much for me, but I do have them.

Other than lessons, not much going on.  Not sure what we are going to have for dinner.  I just realized that we aren't going to be here Thursday night so maybe I should cook what I have in the fridge so it doesn't go bad.  I am very tired today.  I woke up early for no reason.  No reason what soever.  I even woke up before Mom.  She is awake in her chair today, not really dozing like she usually does, although she looks tired.

I can take my blood thinner medicine again, so I guess my blood is back to normal.  Thank goodness, of course, I do have another test on Monday, but I get a week before it.  I hope the bruise is gone by then because that is the arm I like them to do the test with as the left arm/shoulder are in a lot of pain all the time.  The right arm is normal.

It is an okay day today as far as pain is concerned.  I do hope to do some cleaning up in the dining room, I want to put the spring table cloth on the table and I need to clean it off to do it.  We still have the Christmas one on.  Silly me!  I keep meaning to take it off, I have table cloths for every holiday except St. Patrick's Day (too close to Easter) and Valentine's Day got ignored as far as table cloths go.  I found a neat Christmas craft i would like to start.  Not sure if I will start today or later this weekend.  We shall see.

I hope your day is good and beautiful outside.  Although my friend, Barb, posted on face book that it was raining where she is.  Hope it stops and the sun comes out!!!!!

It is another beautiful sunny day here in Michigan.  (a nice change from the snowy February we had).  March, so far, has been nice as far as the weather is concerned.

I had the monthly lesson for the girls today.  They are doing so well.  All three of them are learning Fur Elise.  I forgot to bring the rest of the song to them.  Oops!  In my defense, I did ask them to face book me a message to remind me to bring it and they forgot.  Yup, all three of them forgot for the entire month, so it isn't just me.

After their lessons, I had two more and that is the end of the marathon of lessons that I love.  Tomorrow is 3 lessons and 2 on Wednesday.  If only I had more.  

My taxes should be done soon.  I can wait for them to be done because you don't pay income tax on disability and I earn so little with lessons that I will have to pay a small amount.  So I have it pretty easy.  

My big bruise on the right arm is getting better.  It doesn't look as scary as it did last week.  Stupid blood test.  Speaking of which, I had the third one this week this morning, and I mean morning.  Ugh, is that what morning looks like?  He he he.  I am not a morning person, not crabby or anything, just not with it.  Fibro fog is bad first thing in the morning around here.  I actually got up before Mom did.  That in itself is unusual.

Mom ate okay today, well, okay for her.  She had both her muffin and her donut with a pint of milk and some lunch (since we were up early I fed her and myself lunch) and some dinner.  She had a couple of tablespoons of pork roast (which I roasted in the crock pot!!) and 3 small carrots and 1 small potato.  She ate everything.  She will have an ensure later tonight before we go to bed.  She drinks about a 1/2 of one with her medicine at night so she ends up with either 1 1/2 or 2 1/2.

Head is normal today, just its usual dull roar, so I am happy about that.  We aren't doing much this evening.  We have to go to Walmarts for some ensure for Mom and medicine for me and her.  I have to turn in a refill and get some sleep stuff for Mom and Tylenol PM for me.  We are out.  

I hope your day is good.  Just a reminder, if you get a chance to look at the online NFA FMaware magazine, here is the link, so go take a look!

 http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/  

It is very nice and warm outside for a change.  I hope it stays.  I am tired of the white stuff falling and sticking to the ground, although we still have some snow despite the warm weather.  It is really sunny out too, how can we get so lucky about that.

My head is pretty bad today, not real happy about that, so it is a good thing that Tillie was unable to come over after all.  She is having a bad day and has tons of homework.  I will see her next week though because she is coming for a week to help organize.  Won't that be fun?  Not!  Yet, it needs to be done so badly.  I wonder how Mom will react.  She flips when we throw things out.  She is sleeping in her chair as usual.  I will take her upstairs shortly when I go to lay down and rest my aching head.

I have six CDs to copy for my students.  I don't give out original CDs because they often come back broken or ruined and then you have to buy the book and the CD all over because generally the CDs aren't sold separately.  It is a drag, let me tell you.  I copied the music into my computer yesterday so all i have to do it burn them on to a CD which I bought today.  I had a coupon for $10 off!  yeah!  So I got 40 CDs for about $20.  Very good price around here.  Don't know what it is like at your place, but it is a good price for us.  I got extras too so I won't have to go and get any in a long while.  

Mom ate pretty well for breakfast for a change.  She ate both her donut and her muffin and even drank some milk!  Yeah for Mom!  If only she ate like that every day.  It must be hard on her because she isn't really hungry anymore.  I have looked up some info and I guess it is normal at this stage of the game.  I don't really like any of the stages so I can't say I have a favorite, but she is okay between 12 and 5 and more confused before noon and after 5.

I talked briefly to Richard yesterday, he had to go and he was supposed to call me back.  Don't worry, I didn't expect him too.  He rarely does.  It would have been nice if he did though, because I want to know how he is doing.  He doesn't offer info you have to ask him.  I guess the kids are fine, I did ask and he said they are doing well and waiting for summer to arrive.  William will be 9 in a couple of weeks.  I have his birthday cards for him from me and Mom.  We got them when I got the cutest Donald duck in the world.  It is so cute.  He is dressed as a bunny and sings and when you lift him by the ears, he hollers!  It is great.  Aggie wants one just like it, she said so yesterday!

I think I am going to lay down for a while now.  I hope you enjoy your day and that it is warm and sunny!!!

I just finished the two lessons for the day!  I am also cooking the corned beef, cabbage, and red potatoes!  It smells so good.  I snitched a couple of pieces (I cut them into small pieces) of corned beef and a piece of potato.  They tasted good already and made me hungry for dinner.  Too bad it is only 2:15 pm!  Not time for dinner!  Tillie is coming tomorrow for dinner.  I think I will make the pork roast, at least at this point I do.  We shall see what I feel like tomorrow!

Lily and Aggie did really well this week.  Lily finished up a piece and has 2 almost done.  Aggie got 2 new songs for the spring concert.  One is from Little Women and the other from Mary Poppins (the Broadway).  I love both songs, they are so cool.  Aggie seemed to like them a lot too.  

Mom is doing alright today.  She ate a muffin for breakfast is about to have an ensure.  It is almost time for her afternoon snack.  She gets them a couple of times a day depending on how much dinner and breakfast she eats.  We don't eat lunch because we aren't really up in time for breakfast, we usually eat between 11 and noon, so that is our breakfast.  She does real well during lessons, she sits in the living room and listens to the students.  I think she enjoys it.  I don't really know if she does or doesn't, except she doesn't cry during them, so that is why I think she likes them.  We have to go out soon to buy a smoke detector for the upstairs, ours is broken.  Must think safety first!!!!!  Always!  I know Mom won't know what to do with it should it go off, but I do know and that is what counts.

I have a bit of a headache today, not a super bad one, but a bit bad, a little bit more than the usual one.  It's been about 6 years since i didn't have a headache.  I don't remember what it was like.  Kinda strange to think about.  A head that doesn't hurt.  What a phenomenon!  I try not to think about what could be, what could have been, and what was, because there is no point and it makes me sad.  It's like with Mom, why dwell on the past when she could do stuff that she can't do know.  It does no good.  

On to better topics.  It is so beautiful out today!!!!!!!!!  Sunshine and 50 degrees!  What a beautiful combination for March 6.  I am happy about it that is for sure.

I talked to Richard (the older brother) today!  Yeah!  I just simply adore my older brother.  I miss him so much.  Actually, I miss both of my brothers, but at least I got to see the younger one at Christmas time.  I hope to fly out this summer to see Richard and his family.  He has two kids who are simply awesome.  We shall see what summer brings.

Well, I hope your day is going good and that the sun is out where you are!!!

What a day, it is sunny out!!!!  Yeah sun!!  I like sunny days best.  It warmed the car up so Mom was actually not cold for a change.  It was a nice change.  We had to do some grocery shopping, the worst type, but I needed the veggies for the meat we got yesterday from Tillie.  She gave us a some roast beef and corned beef.  We are having the corned beef tomorrow, I love that stuff so much.  I can't find it where we shop, I am hoping as it gets closer to St. Patrick's Day that they will have some.  I will buy a little bit extra to freeze for another time.  I also bought a pork roast.  Yup, I am becoming more domesticated.  Write that down in history, Heather wants to cook.  Of course, this is all using my crock pot and not anything else.

I had the second blood test of the week this afternoon.  It only took 1 try so boy, was I glad about that.  My other arm finally stopped bleeding (bruising) sometime during the night and it looks just awful.  At least it doesn't hurt, I am thankful for that.  Thank goodness I wear long sleeves most of the time so no one will have to look at it and flip out on me.

I don't have sewing today because of the blood test.  Last time I waited a really long time before they did the test.  Most nurses won't try me because my veins are hard to find.  I don't mind because I don't like more than one poke, so we waited and waited.  We didn't wait too long but enough where I would have been extremely late for sewing so it was best just to cancel it.  I miss my girls though.  I will see them Monday for their piano lessons.  I have no lessons today but I have 2 tomorrow!  My Aggie and Lily!  I am excited about the new song for Aggie and the new book for Lily.  I haven't heard if the CD is in for Aggie's book yet.  It has been over a week now.  I should have ordered it with Charlie's music instead of from the store.  If it isn't in by next week I will order it from pepper music.  They send the music right to your house, so it is very convenient.

I am pretty tired today, I think I am gonna take a nap after I finish this.  3 days in a row of getting up early is very hard on me.  My head hurts a bit more than usual but I took a pain pill so it should go back to normal soon.  I hope you are having a good day.

We are back from the assessment.  Mom will officially be put on the list as soon as I fill in my choices.  I can have up to 3.  We will have a worker out to help mom with the bath and hair once a week.  Finally!  We have some help!  I can help her with a sponge bath, but to get her in the tub is a nightmare for the both of us.  I just am not strong enough to make her feel safe, so we sponge bath instead.  It works for us.  Mom did pretty well, I mean, as well as she can.  She couldn't answer any questions, but I didn't expect her too either.  That is beyond what she is capable of doing.  As usual, Mom is sleeping in her chair.  If I could stay awake at night, I would see what she does at night, but I am usually sleeping and she stays in her bed.  She did wake up super early today, but I put her right back into bed and she stayed until she heard me get up.  It is so beautiful this new pattern.  I am enjoying every minute of the new pattern because you never know when it could end.  It was tiring for me this meeting.  I was so tense because I can't predict what Mom will do, will she be nice or will she cry?  Who knows?  She doesn't make eye contact with me much anymore when she speaks to me.  She really only speaks to me if I speak to her first.  It is like she can't think of anything to say, and she probably can't.  She did well and didn't cry when the word nursing home came up and during the questions, it came up a lot.  I don't think she knows what that is anymore which is good since eventually she will be in one.  the lady said it could be a couple of years unless I burn out and can't take it anymore, then they call it critic and the put her in the first one that is available.  I have to go and check out a few.  Not really happy about that.  I would rather not see them, but in doing my best for Mom I will.  These things make me really sad and depressed.

Surprisingly, the pain level isn't as high as I thought it would be considering the tense situation, so I am pleased with myself on that.  My head is a bit sore, but I knew it would be because of the tenseness of the meeting.  The lady was very nice and helpful, don't get me wrong, it the subject of the meeting that causes me to be tense.

My arm bruise is growing from the blood test I had yesterday.  It is still fresh looking so I know I am still bleeding under the skin.  It took a while for the blood to stop on the outside too, when I stop to think about it.  I am not happy about tomorrow's test because it will be in the extremely sore arm and it will hurt like the dickens.  I don't do well with tests in that arm anymore because of the stiff shoulder and arm pain.  The pain runs down the front of my forearm and ends at the elbow, exactly where the tourniquet will go tomorrow.  Yeah.  I will make sure I have an empty tummy for this one so the pain doesn't make me throw up.

Well, I am heading up to bed now, have to get up earlier for said test and we all know how I feel about mornings to begin with!  yuck!!!  That's what I think about mornings!  I hope your day went well and your morning will go good too!

I have to post again, I am so excited.  Calli had her first lesson with me and did phenomenal!!!  She is very talented.  I asked her about how she learned in china and discovered that they didn't really do a lot of both hands.  No problem.  We started right away with both hands.  She learned two songs today and will be practicing during the week until next Wednesday at about 4:30.  Her younger brother, Acer, was fascinated by the violin I had his Mom dig out for him.  He loves everything musical.  I mean, everything.  He also wanted to know where the lap harp was, I had to sadly tell him I still don't know where it is.  I hope to find it soon.  But he perked when I told him about a violin.  He wiggled and jumped.  It was really cute.  So he was entertained during Calli's lesson and quiet.  Well, as quiet as the handsome young man gets.  he didn't distract Calli and I, and that was the important thing.

My older girls are going to love these two tons!

More after next weeks lesson.

I had my usual blood test today and they have to redo it on Friday. So now, of course, I am thinking, is there something wrong? Too thin, too thick? I am supposed to stop taking coumiden too until then. So yeah, okay, what's up with that?

I think today I will have Calli's first lessons. I sure hope so. Her poor mom has been ill for two weeks so I am hopeful for today. We shall find out in about 2 hours. I can't wait. I have the books and CDs ready for her. I also found a neat website that has braille music. How cool is that? So once we start I will know what we need. Also, I ordered Charlie some new solos and the music is in, it came in this afternoon. I know, why couldn't it have come in yesterday when my boy was here? Because I didn't order it until Friday night and they shipped it Monday. Silly me, you would think I would have a better sense of timings my orders. I hope Aggie's CD is here by Saturday, I ordered those last Wednesday so I am hopeful that they will be here in time for her lesson. I can't wait for her to sing the new song I picked out for her.

My computer is still frozen on sleep so I, again, am using Mom's. I realized yesterday that it would be the perfect opportunity to make this months newsletter as she has publisher and I don't have it for Mac. Have I done that. Duh, no. I am planning on fixing that this evening. I have some pictures from competition and from the benefit concert to add to the newsletter. It should be a nifty one. I love making these things. Hmm, wouldn't it be cool if I got a job editing newsletters? I have done that before and loved every minute of it. I did it for about 6 years. I could do it again! I even worked at home with it so that would be even better because then there is no worries about who'll take care of Mom. I can and work at the same time!!!! I think I will look into that for a job. I know jobs are awfully scarce in these parts right now.

Not much happening today outside of the one lesson and the newsletter. We were at the docs earlier today and waited an hour for my blood test. The nurse was a new one, she was smart, got someone who can get me as soon as I mentioned I am hard to get. I don't do well with several pokes you know. With fibro, the tourniquet hurts really really bad, not the needle so much, although that hurts too, but the tourniquet is the worse. I thought I was going throw up it hurt so bad today. And to top it off, they can only use one arm because of the pain that is continuous in the left arm. It is practically frozen now. I can only use it a bit. I hope the cycle of pain it is in moves on soon, I am tired of not moving the arm well. I need both arms.

Speaking of pain, did anyone get a chance to look at the online magazine for the NFA? I did and it looks real good. Here is the link again! http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/

Please check it out and let them (NFA) if you like it. It is just another way for us to keep the highway of information going!!!!

I do hope your day is going well. Mine isn't too bad, minus the extra pain from the blood test, and I am looking forward to Calli's lesson.

I met Danielle for lunch today for the first time in a few years. She has now graduated from University of Michigan and has finished her student teaching and is now, like so many of us, looking for a job. She has done some subbing and seems to really like teaching. I am glad she found something she enjoys. It was so nice seeing her. Even Mom did well while we were there. She didn't eat her soup, but other than that she was doing alright.

This new medicine seems to make her more zombie like than I would like, but I guess if I had a choice between the crying all the time Mom and the zombie like one, I will pick the zombie like one. She is still as tired as she used to be. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do about that. Oh well, she is calmer than she used to be and I am enjoying it as much as I can. Watching a person you love go down the hill is hard. It makes me think of what our friends and family go through as we go up and down with our illness(es). It can't be too easy on them when we feel like crap most of the time. The hardest thing for me is the tiredness and the not walking well. I can't walk very far anymore. I know some of it is my weight, but even when I was skinnier I had trouble. The pain is passable, I would say most days, although, I do have my bad days too, but this exhaustion kills me the most. I want to go back to work when Mom is in a home, but seriously? Can I do it? I don't know. Maybe things will pick up in my state and I will be able to get a few more students, enough to balance out the deficit Mom's leaving will bring. That along with disability would work. I am glad you can work a bit on disability. I don't think I could work 40 hours, but then again, I don't know until I try. I guess I just have to leave it until the time comes that I have to think about it.

Pain is medium as usual, I didn't feel too much when I was with Danielle though! Good times with her. We need to do this again when Katie is in town. They are both so cute! I can't believe how fast they grew up on me. It seems like yesterday when they were in elementary school getting ready for junior high. How the time has flown on me.

I hope your day is good!!!!!!

I received a nice email today. It is about a new project that the National Fibromyalgia Association is working on. It is an online magazine. I think this is very cool. We will now be able to get the magazine in two forms, online and print. I mean, really, how neat! So anyways, every so often I will be posting the link. Here it is:

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/


so check it out! I know I will be this week.

Today was a pretty busy day as far as our days go. We went to our usual Tim Horton's, then off to Gracei's lessons, then home for 3 more lessons. I love my Mondays! Tomorrow I am meeting Danielle for tea at Paneras! I can't wait.

Frank was happy with the new music he got. I actually gave him some new stuff instead of him picking what he wanted to play. I don't mind him picking because he picks a nice variety of music.

I don't have really anything much else to say today, don't know why, just don't. Pain is normal for the day, had an okay sleep for a change, but not much else to say. Hope your day is going well.